


No Buddy Like a Brother

by Cuthwyn



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Bruce is just so done, Gen, Halloween, Mistaken Identity, No buddy like a brother, don't dress up as Robin in Gotham, zombie Jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 07:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8436859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuthwyn/pseuds/Cuthwyn
Summary: It's Halloween in Gotham and all is quiet.Until Batman receives a call.One of the Robins has been kidnapped.They were all watching a film two minutes ago?Dammit!





	

Halloween.  
The quietest night of the year.  
Bruce was sat in the Batcave, cowl pulled down, as he flicked through some cold cases, hoping to maybe see something new. It was doubtful but there was nothing else to do.  
He had given the rest of his family the night off.  
Dick had decided that was an excuse for a movie night. His eldest seemed to be the only willing participant and Bruce was secretly pleased to not have to play referee and was stuck flipping through case files instead.

An incoming call rang out on the Batcomputer.  
Pulling up his cowl, Bruce fixed himself into the right frame of mind and answered the call.  
'Happy Halloween B-man!'  
A females high pitched, Brooklyn accent rang out.  
Great. Just what he needed.  
'Quinn. How'd you get this number?'  
'Mistah J'   
Another female's voice yelled something intelligible in the background.   
'Aw come on Red, he asked where I got the number from!'  
'Quinn. What do you want?'  
'Oh! Oh right. Yeah. Ya see, Red and I went trick or treating with Eddie-'  
'We were coerced into it'  
Nigma and Isley could be heard yelling in the background.  
'Sssh! I'm trying to be intimidating here.'  
Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He really wasn't in the mood for this.  
'Quinn you have 5 seconds to tell me what you want or I shall find you and cart you back to Arkham before you know what hit you. Do you understand me?'  
There was a high pitched squeak before Harley's voice suddenly took a sinister tone.  
'Whilst trick or treating we found one of your little birdies. You have until midnight. Happy hunting!'  
The connection cut out.

Bruce stared blankly at the screen.   
His blood ran cold.  
No.  
No.  
They were all upstairs he was sure of it. Weren't they?  
Stumbling over to the intercom, Bruce pressed down the button and swallowed down his fear.  
'Everyone. Cave. Now.'  
Bruce heard a jumbled mess of voices yelling their reply and he flopped back into his chair with a groan.  
'I told you he could hear you from down here!'  
'Shut up Grayson.'  
Well, that was two Robin's safe and well.  
Dick and Damian were first to emerge, the elder with a face of thunder while his younger brother sported his typical scowl and a black eye.  
Tim and Stephanie slunk in behind them, his middle child also sporting facial injuries and apparently in disgrace with Steph, who shot him an unimpressed look.  
Thank god.   
They were all safe and relatively unharmed.

'Do I want to know?'   
Bruce dead panned looking at the four of them in turn. All looked at the ground as if they had never seen it before.  
'Drake is insufferable.'  
'Oh, will you just shut up!' Tim retaliated.  
Cue another argument with Dick and Stephanie trying to do damage control and not being overly successful at it.  
Bruce watched the fighting silently, his brow knotted in confusion.  
All of the Robin's were safe and well at the Manor?  
How could Quinn have a - oh dear God no.  
All the Robin's were not at the Manor.   
How on earth could he forget him?  
'Not again. This is not happening again.' Bruce mumbled angrily to himself, his eyes shooting up to glare at the Robin costume in the glass case.  
'If they have so much as touched a hair on his head!'  
'Bruce? Everything okay?' Stephanie's voice called out somewhere behind him but Bruce barely acknowledged it.

Turning sharply back around to the Batcomputer, Bruce dialled a number. His expression blank with barely repressed worry.   
'Yello? Jaybird's answer phone how may I help you?'  
'Where is he Roy?' Bruce growled, fists tightening when there was a tense silence.  
'Um'  
'Roy? Where. Is. Jason? Answer me!'  
'Sulking in a corner refusing to speak to anyone?'  
Bruce ground his teeth together and glared at the blank screen as if Roy could see him.  
'Where? I need to-'  
Stopping short, he frowned at what sounded like the Monster Mash playing in the background. 'There's music?'  
There was an audible with sigh on the other end of the phone.  
'We're at a Halloween Party. Kori made us dress up and everything.'  
'You're drinking?'  
Another sigh.  
'Nope, and Jaybird's an anti-social fuck, it's great fun. I think I might turn into a glass of coke if I have to drink anymore of the stuff.'  
'Language!'  
'Sorry Bruce.'  
Sighing himself, Bruce closed his eyes and allowed at least a small amount of relief wash through him. Jason appeared to be safe and sound as well.  
'I want photo evidence within two minutes Harper or I am coming to My Alibi to see for myself.'  
'Wait? What? How did you?'   
There was a pause while Roy worked out that the call had been tracked.   
'Fucking fuck fine! Fine! If I die because of this I'ma tellin everyone it's your fault.'  
'I think I can live with that guilt. Language.'  
'I hope you step on fucking Lego!' Roy yelled before hanging up.

'Bruce?' Tim questioned, stepping forwards he looked from the blank screen to his adopted father in concern. 'Want to tell us what's going on?'  
'Not now Tim.' Bruce grumbled, his eyes glued to a timer counting down two minutes.  
Sighing, Tim looked over at Dick who shrugged his agreement that Bruce had lost it, before swiping the Batarang Damian was aiming at his brother.  
'Not now Little D.'  
'Tt. Who care's what Todd is doing? The mongrel is a perfect example as to why ignorance is bliss.'  
A small envelope popped up onto the screen silencing everyone instantaneously.  
Letting out a slow breath, Bruce mentally prepared himself for whatever he was going to see and opened the message.  
The word 'Happy?' Was displayed beneath a photo of the trio.  
Roy hadn't lied. It was clearly My Alibi in the background and the three were in fact dressed up.

Kory had gone as an alien. She sported a short, metallic tutu and had painted herself green with matching silver boppers perched on her head. Roy, had decided to dress up as Robin Hood or possibly Green Arrow if the fake beard stuck to his chin was anything to go by.  
The pair had obviously decided that the best way to get a photo of Jason was to jump him, literally.  
Jason was staring at camera with a look of confused surprise whilst the pair kissed his cheeks and held him tightly, probably for their own protection.  
Jason was safe. Thank God.  
Looking back up at the picture of his second eldest, Bruce smiled slightly.  
Jason was wearing a bloodied, ripped, black dress suit and his face was painted to look like-  
'Is that - is Little Wing dressed up as a zombie?' Dick gasped in amazement slightly tinged with horror.

Bruce chuckled, and the remaining Robin's looked from Bruce to the picture of their brother wondering which one was more surreal.  
'I think this is what going insane feels like.' Damian muttered his eyes glued to Jason's undead face.  
'I want a copy!' Dick declared, his eyes dancing with impending mischief.  
'I shall require a copy also.' Damian out did his older brother with a look of pure, unapologetic malice.  
'No. Nobody is having a copy.' Bruce scolded, looking from one Batkid to the other in disapproval.  
Their phones went off in their trouser pockets simultaneously and the trio looked at each other in bemusement.  
'You're welcome.'   
Tim grinned from where he was stood, phone in hand.  
'Timothy! You do not hack into the Batcomputer to steal photos of Jason.'  
Tim shot him a shit eating grin and shrugged in a bid to look innocent.  
'It's hardly hacking when I already know the passwords Bruce.'

His brothers and Steph, by now had taken out their phones and were studying the photo with glee.  
'Aw man I wish I had Jay's new number. This is definitely blackmail material.' Dick whined, scrolling through his contacts in defeat.  
'Want me to send it you?' Tim offered, a smirk spreading across his face when his older brother shot him a questioning look before nodding slowly.  
'Yeah but how did you- oh- never mind. I don't want to know.'  
Dick's phone beeped again.  
'Behave!'  
Bruce tried, he really did try to take control of the rapidly spiralling situation, but all he was drowned out by a a chorus of chuckling.  
'What you saying to him D?' Stephanie giggled, eyes wide with gleeful mischief.  
'Hang on.'  
Everyone's phones went off.  
Dick had included them in the message to Todd.  
Dearest brother who we love so much. Lunch, 1pm, The Manor. Refuse and zombie boy hits Twitter! Lots of love and kisses, your ever adoring brothers (and Steph) xxx  
Was written above the picture.  
'Hey! Do not include me in your tomfoolery Grayson.'  
Tim smiled slightly and flicked a look at Dick.  
They were so going to die for this, but it was worth it.

A few minutes later and Bruce was sat alone in the cave still looking at the picture of Jason with his friends, happy. The other four wandered back upstairs to discuss plans on teasing their brother. Bruce really didn't want to know.  
'Would you like me to print it out for you sir?'  
Turning to Alfred, Bruce nodded slightly and rose to his feet. Fixing his cowl, he cast one final glance at the photo before making his way over to the Batmobile.   
'Thank you Alfred.'  
He didn't need to explain himself further and he knew that once he came back home, the picture would be with the other photographs in the study.  
Right now though, he had another 'Robin' to return to his worried family.

Bruce called the number Harley had called him off as he drove into Gotham.  
'Hello?'  
'You've got the wrong Robin Quinn. I don't know who you have but he isn't one of mine!'  
'Aw crap.'  
The sound of Nigma and Isley's rather irate voices carried over the line to him.   
'You're coming alone aren't you?' Bruce smirked.  
'Yeah.'   
God did the woman sound pathetically defeated.  
'Arkham. 30 minutes. Don't be late.'  
'Aw crap.'

As promised Harley was stood about a half a mile from the gates of Arkham Asylum holding a traumatised ten year old boy in a Robin costume. Reading her lips as she spoke frantically to the boy, Bruce wondered what had traumatised the child more?  
Being kidnapped by Gotham's most wanted or standing on the side of the road having to listen to Harley Quinn apologise over and over again.  
The blonde's eyes widened as the Batmobile crawled up to a halt beside them.  
Swallowing, Harley smiled weakly when the Batman stepped out of the vehicle and moved to stand in front of her. His glare, dark and disapproving.  
'He- he looked kinda like one of yours ya know? I'm real sorry Bats.'  
Batman shook his head, motioning to the sobbing boy he folded his arms.  
'It's not me you should be apologising to. What about this kid's parents, who right now will be going out of their minds with worry?'  
Giggling, Harley looked up towards Arkham's gates.  
'Yeah, well, I know somewhere that could help with that.'

Growling, Bruce opened his mouth to reprimand the clown for such a careless comment, when the roar of a motorcycle caused them both to turn towards the noise and the boy to cry harder.  
Glancing down at him, Bruce couldn't blame Harley for her mistake. He bared an uncanny resemblance to his youngest.  
Returning his attention to the oncoming motorcycle, he frowned at the familiar masked zombie riding it.   
Enveloped safely between Jason's arms and the motorbike was Red Robin.  
Bruce frowned and cocked his head in confusion. Why was Tim clinging to his brother like that?  
'Yo Bats? Nightwing told me you'd be up here. I'm looking for a missing Robin and apparently you've got him? No more Robins! Jesus man, start up knitting or something!'

Stepping in front of the little Robin protectively, Bruce folded his arms and stared his wayward son down.  
'And what business do you have with him, Hood?'  
Hopping down off his bike, Jason pulled Red Robin with him, who seemed reluctant to do anything but sob into his chest.  
''Cause I got his brother here that's why!'  
Sniffing, the little Robin poked his head around Batman's cape, eyes widening.  
'L-Liam?'  
The teen attached to Jason lifted his head and was suddenly charging to gather the ten year old up into his arms.  
'Mason! Oh my God! Mason are you alright? I promise I'll never leave you alone again, not ever!' Hugging Mason tightly to him, Liam looked up at Jason and pushed back his cowl to reveal teary, blue eyes.   
'Thank you, Mr Hood, sir.'  
Smiling brightly Jason shrugged and ruffled Mason's hair affectionately.   
'No sweat. Just glad the little mites okay. Awesome costumes by the way, if a little too convincing.'  
'Hood? What is going on here?' Bruce ground out through gritted teeth.

Glancing back at a very confused looking Batman and Harley Quinn, Jason shrugged and motioned towards the two brothers.  
'Well, Starfire and Arsenal jumped me for a photo for no reason, so I went outside for a smoke. That's when I saw Liam crying on the fire escape. First I thought it was the real Red Robin because, look at him!'   
Motioning back over towards Liam, Jason smirked when Bruce appraised the boy before nodding his agreement.  
'Turns out he ditched his kid brother whilst Trick or Treating to make out with some girl from school. When he returned to the spot he told his brother to wait at, he was gone. I'm assuming because you kidnapped him?'  
Gulping, Harley nodded before laughing nervously.  
'Yeah, erm ya see, aw come on Hood? He looks just like the real deal! They both do, like sheesh that's unnatural!'  
Shrugging his mouth in agreement, Jason turned back to Bruce.  
'Welp, that's my good deed done. B? Tell the rest of the Scooby Gang I'll swing by for lunch tomorrow but I ain't happy about it. I gotta head back before Arsenal freaks out and sends a search party out for me. Last time that happened Starfire blew up a building so'   
Trailing off, Jason clambered back onto his bike and offered the two brothers a wave.  
'See ya kiddos. Remember next time don't split up yeah? There's no buddy like a brother.'

Bruce watched his son leave in stunned silence. He was stone cold sober and had been all pro brothers? Until now, Jason never passed up an opportunity to get blind drunk and wail on whichever brother was in hitting distance.  
Jason was happy.  
'Yo? Batsy? Earth to Batman!'   
Harley frowned at Batman who was staring after the Red Hood like the end of a romcon flick before deciding to slip quietly away.  
'Alrighty then? Come on kids, Aunty Harl will give you spirits a lift home.'

 

Liam and Mason held each other's hands tightly as they watched Harley drive away.  
They looked up at their house, still unable to fully process what had happened to them.  
Silently, they both agreed to tell their parents nothing about what had gone on that night. Harley had even stopped by the store to 'buy' them a whole heap of candy as an apology and to give them a cover story.  
The next year, the brother's decided to leave the hero and villains costumes for the real deals and dressed up as a werewolf and a vampire instead. It was safer


End file.
